25 April, 2010

Waiting for the upside...

Now that I am a nonsmoker ,as they call themselves, I am finding it wasn't as hard as it was when I tried in the past. Maybe my body was telling me something,or maybe I was just fed up with the mess,the cost and the smell of it all.... the house is smelling better,at least now I can smell more, but not as good as others I know, one young woman I know,who used to smoke,can smell something she doesn't like a mile away... it can be irritating at time for her,and us too ,if we have to listen to her.LOL
I am still waiting for the good effects to kick in , I don't feel any better,maybe a bit worse, maybe that's the withdrawal, ok, but when I do get to feel good about it?? Is there a time line for that? I've looked it up,and I found all kinds of suggestions on when your BP goes to normal, when your circulation gets better,and so on. I want some some positive feedback on when your body tells you it feels better! I take vitamins,and drinking more water,less coffee,and gave up carbonated drinks of any kind, I have one once in a blue moon now. Soooo, I'm asking WHEN? I want to feel better,I find I am sleeping better sometimes,I can actually sleep past 4am. Usually when I have had a sleeping pill because I hurt so bad from my back and joints... so that is probably why that is.
Other than that,I have discovered I can not so the work I did when I was in my 20's or even 30's... a good days work back then ,and I could still come home and work at the house or yard,now,it's all I can do to get home,shower the dog hair off,and get in bed... or do a few little must do things first. Now I ask, where are the golden years???? I do have the utmost respect for older than I am people,and realize why they are the way they are... I've joined that club.
I told one of the 20 something girls at work, I will add the old people curse to her, like the parent curse, you know, the one were they hope you have kids just like you ,this old people curse is meaner, it means you will go through what you laugh at in older people, just so you can see what is going on in their bodies. But when you do ,it is too late anyway... they aren't around to apologize to,and you have the guilt. I didn't put the curse on her,just explained it to her,and she saw what I meant. And she stopped what she was saying.For the time being,actually,I don't don't mind being teased about forgetting things ,or not doing something right,because I know they will be there someday,and I guess the curse should be that you remember all the older people you were mean too,that is better. So be it, that is the old people curse, you don't lose your memory till you remember all those times.... works for me.

I add this picture, because in my mind I can imagine how good it must be to curl up on a blanket in a sunny window and nap.... can you imagine that? The only jealousy I have is for my animals,because they can nap anywhere and enjoy it..... someday maybe I can too. :)